hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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