Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
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Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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