just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
