It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
