Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
