I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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