I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want to be your penis for a week.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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