talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
