The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
