We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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