So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
