you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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