i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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