I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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