Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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