never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
