I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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