If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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