got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
