I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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