Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
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