I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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