omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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