I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
