You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
