im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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