Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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