I'm jealous of your bromance
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
