So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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