Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
only if we run a train.
done.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
