it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
