Your face is a jimmy john
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
