i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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