Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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