hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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