Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
