it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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