and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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