Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
