brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
