Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
