No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize