Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
