Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
this hospital has no fireball
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
