names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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