You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
