Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
