; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
