It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
