I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
