So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
