Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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