I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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