I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
