then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
