I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
