She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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