Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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