You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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