Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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