i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to make out with him forever
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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