i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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