Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
