He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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