Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
