Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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